Issue 33

The Olb City Announcer

Volume 4, Issue 3
March 21st-March 27th, 2021

New Airport Planned

By Tony Yuan

Hallington-City officials have voted to plan and design a new, second airport near the small satellite town of Hallington. The airport will be called the Hallington-Olb City International Airport (HOCIA), and it will house over 800 restaraunts and shops, with ten 9,000 meter runways and over 300 gates. The airport will have four terminals, each with an estimated 500,000 square feet. The airport will be built on 90 acres of land outside Hallington. Officials say the airport could cost as much as 10 billion Arenzos, and will be comparable in size to OCIA. AAW, Southwest, Delta, United, and American have all agreed to have flights to the airport. Its three-letter airport code will be WOC.


by Owen Miyazoi

A new artwork was unveiled at the OCAM by the established and post-modernist artist Miekl Kyonankii. Titled “g” and styled in all lowercase, the sculpture is a sort of cylindrical shape, but with the bottom cut off and replaced with a kind of half-spiral curlicue thing. The work is made of steel, with a thick iron coating and wood inlay; it is about 12 feet tall and displays “an intricate delicacy in the way the cylinder balances upon the half-spiral curlicue thing,” as one critic says. In case you're wondering, yes, Mr. Kyonankii actually says that it's intended to be called a “half-spiral curlicue thing”.


By Sam-Louis Alrocaet

Dr. Johannes Peterson, the Arenztopian Officer of Health, decreed on Monday that every professional sports player in Arenztopia should get Avac by the end of the week, so several hundred doses of Avac were set aside for “Operation SportVax”. According to a survey by the polling company Naloaf, over 99% of professional players have gotten Avac after Operation SportVax, with only about a dozen people left.


By Mezoir Logan

The weather next week is going to be near-perfect spring weather, with temperatures from 21 degrees Celsius to 24 degrees Celsius. There should be a 30% chance of rain on Friday as clouds move in Thursday night.

Coronavirus Report

By Owen Miyazoi

Cases have continued to drop to just 100, which is similar to the number of cases in early- and mid-March. Deaths are still at 0. The Arenztopian Officer of Health, Dr. Johannes Peterson, got President Avila's approval to dump over 2 billion Arenzos into the vaccine effort, which means that we now have another incredible 3,500,000 people vaccinated with Avac and 200,000 vaccinated with Moderna, as well as 100,000 vaccinated with Pfizer; this makes for a truly incredible 4,533,575 people fully vaccinated, as well as 295,000 people waiting for their second shot. Dr. Johannes Peterson says that he hopes to have Avac being the only vaccine in Arenztopia by the end of the month.

Feature: Dr. Dominique Motul

By Tony Yuan and Lorenzo Avila

Today we interviewed Dr. Dominique Motul, a Colombian-Arenztopian scientist. His laboratory team is stationed at the Descalvure Laboratory at Olb University and they beleive that they have found a new species of bacteria that exhibits virus-like properties: invading cells, devouring tissue, and using the body's functions to make more of itself. Dr. Motul also says that the bacteria can devour other bacteria by grouping together into a team. The microorganism is believed to be extremely dangerous to humans.

Olb City Announcer: Hi, Dr. Motul! I'm going to start off today with what I'm sure many of our readers are wondering: Should we be extremely worried about this organism?

Dr. Dominique Motul: No, not really. The microorganism, which we named Staphylococcus Bacillales, can only grow in temperatures over 51 degrees Celsius, which is roughly 125 degrees Farenheit; and with a very high humidity index over 65%.

OCA: That's a relief! How would it harm humans?

DM: Well, it can result in sudden death, rotting, and disappearance of large areas of flesh; it can devour many beneficial bacteria that we rely on; and it can make flesh and skin turn black and fall off. It can also cause the failure of many important organs, which in most cases causes extensive internal bleeding; and it can also make substantial parts of your brain stop working. I'm serious about all of this; we in the laboratory have taken to calling it the “Death Specter Bacterium.”

OCA: Oh my god! That sounds extremely gruesome! I think we're extremely fortunate that it's very uncommon in the world. Can you tell us how you made the discovery?

DM: Sure! So last month, I was messing around with the humidity and heat in these petri dishes full of living tissue, as part of an experiment on rotting and development of bacteria, and one day I was really bored so I prepared a fresh petri dish and turned the humidity up really high, and then I maxed out the heat. To my suprise, when I came back the tissue was blackened and in the early stages of rot. I looked at it through a microscope, and realized that there was a huge amount of bacteria all over the tissue, and that's normal. But then I looked closer and realized that it was all the same type of bacteria. That's when I knew that I had discovered something truly special.

OCA: Well, those are all the questions we have for you! Thanks for coming!

DM: Thanks for inviting me!

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

Dr. Motul's findings were published in the journal Science on Tuesday, in collaboration with Sigrryb F. Hamsen, Knils M. Tearlach, and Gwynneth S. Traehrednuht.

Upcoming Concert

By Sam-Louis Alrocaet

The local music shop Arecords is putting on a virtual concert next Friday with many big names. Tickets will cost 15$ per adult and 10$ per child, as well as 10$ for people 65 and over and 5$ for people who have been fully vaccinated; backstage passes cost 30$ per person. You can buy tickets and backstage passes at The show will start at 3 PM.

Woodchuck Criminals Return

By Lorenzo Avila

On Tuesday, three people were reported missing; their bodies were found in a Dumpster the next day. The Dumpster had the words “The Woodchucks are Coming” scrawled in red on the side. Police think that the murderers are the same people who killed two people one year ago. (See Issue 1) Famous private investigator Sai G. has been put on the case. All information is valuable: If you have any info, please call the OCPD's Woodchuck Hotline at 650-WOOD-CHUCK.


By Lorenzo Avila

We are reaching the summit.
The summit of covid.
We soon will conquer covid.
We are almost there.


By Owen Miyazoi

On Tuesday, the famous Mexican-Arenztopian politician Adrastos Callis passed away at the age of 84. He was an extremely influential advocate of Mexican-Arenztopian and Mexican-American rights in the 1970s. He was a close ally of President Lorenzo Avila and donated much of his earnings to charity. Please send your regrets to Mrs. Callis at 680-722-2864.