Issue 5

The Olb City Announcer

Volume 1, Issue 5 March 28th-April 4th

Fraud!

By Tony Yuan

Natania Stadium-People in the neighboring city of Natania were shocked and appalled when an ultra-rare tree, so rare that it is only known as ¨K- type¨, was revealed to be a common potted plant. The owner had sold it for 150 million Arenzos in an unprecedented auction that captivated thousands of eager bidders. The tree went to Nogateny Stosgat, who is an eccentric billionaire. Enraged that he paid over a hundred million Arenzos for a common potted plant, Mr. Stosgat is using his wealth to ¨make life hell¨ for the witty seller.

Arts

By Tony Yuan

On Wednesday, local artist Moe Kinakshi debuted his most recent sculpture, Ecology, which depicts a human eating the earth. It will go on display at the ACMA as part of the exhibit Our Earth, then will go to the OCAM as a permanent fixture.

Weather

By Mezoir Logan

Next week´s average temp. should be a slightly cooler 15 degrees celsius, with drizzles and a storm system coming in from the east.

Sports

By Owen Miyazoi

Almost all the sports of Arenztopia have been cancelled. The Chanlanian Chamaleons and the Hasianian Hornets ae due to face off Tuesday in a television-only match. The ASCRO postponed all races until September due to the Coronavirus.

Zortek CEO fired

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

The CEO of Zortek Incorporated was fired and the company ordered to pay 400 million Arenzos after a scandal last week that reported ¨unsightly lumps¨ around one of the company´s heavy metal processing facilities. Authorities also say that the CEO is facing 20 years in prison and a 100 thousand Arenzo fee.

Radioactive

By Owen Miyazoi

A strange ¨hot spot¨ of radioactivity was found near the San Bin Jihernat oasis in the Arenztopian Desert. Scientists and police are investigating in radioactivity suits.

New video game released

By Sam-Louis Alrocaet

The long-awaited last game in the bestselling Fyreworld series has come out. Called Lord of Fyreworld Ultimate, it is essentially all the games mashed together in super high resolution. It joins Fyreworld, Fyreworld 2, Fyreworld 3, Deluxe Fyreworld, Fyreworld Ultra, Fyreworld Classic, Lord of Fyreworld, Lord of Fyreworld 2, and Secrets of Fyreworld.

GD & Company to release new credit card

by Owen Miyazoi

Retail giant GD & Company announced previously that it would release a new card. The new card is called the Platinum Prism card and will be more prestigious than the other cards.

Exoplanet discovered

by Tony Yuan

A strange exoplanet was discovered by the recently launched Closed Lithoray Orbiter, or CLO. It is called CLO-1B and is in a system with at least 1 other planet. The system orbits around a star called CLO-5S. CLO-1B is an earth-sized planet theoretically capable of supporting life. Both the ASA and NASA are currently conducting extensive research into CLO-1B.

Obituary

by Owen Miyazoi

62-year old woman Parcelia Michelae was killed on Monday when a van managed by the delivery company Superfast LLC went out of control and slammed into her house´s facade as she was sitting in the parlor reading a book. The driver suffered major injuries and Mrs. Michelae died instantly. Superfast LLC issued a ¨sincere apology¨ and promised to ¨repay this family in full.¨ Call 650-288-6904 to show sympathy.

Poetry

by Tony Yuan

New Paris

New Paris hit hard by
the terrifying virus
Dozens recovered.
thank you wikihow for teaching me how to write a haiku.

Coronavirus Report

by Owen Miyazoi

The Coronavirus report will be published indefinetly until the end of the pandemic. The government has confirmed 220 cases with 31 deaths. Experts say that the worst is yet to come.

Editorial

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet This week sees even more impact from the Coronavirus, which is offset by the happiness of April Fool´s day.

APRIL FOOLS! NO COMICS THIS WEEK

Man ridicules Nogateny Stosgat!

by Owen Miyazoi

As mentioned earlier, an undisclosed person frauded Nogateny Stosgat, the eccentric billionaire. The seller ridicules Mr. Stosgat for not realizing that it was April Fool´s day.