The Olb City Announcer

Volume 3, Issue 9
February 21st-February 27th, 2021

Nogateny Stosgat loses 38 billion Arenzos

By Tony Yuan

Arenztopian Stock Market-Famous billionare Nogateny Stosgat (See Issue 5) lost almost 38 billion Arenzos overnight as two of his companies, TechDaily Magazine and Stosgat Industries, experienced a stock drop of over 100 billion Arenzos on Tuesday. The 38 billion Arenzos are a huge chunk of Mr. Stosgat's 90 billion Arenzo fortune. Mr. Stosgat had been warned by investors not to invest such a large amount in stocks, but he ignored them and bought a 33% stock in Stosgat Industries and a 25% stock in TechDaily. Stosgat also owns 1,100 BCions, a cryptocurrency, which also took a big hit on Tuesday. Reports say that Stosgat no longer has enough money to pay the mortgage on his gargantuan, 600,000 square foot mansion at his private beachside resort near Canopia. We are unsure what steps he will take next, and we will publish updates as new details emerge.

Arts

By Owen Miyazoi

Artist Frankie Sankaremna unveiled a new sculpture on Tuesday. It is titled Dvrtsg, and it features several huge, monolithic black concrete cubes. Sankaremna says that it represents the gravity of the collective responsibilities that humans take on by being alive.

Sports

By Sam-Louis Alrocaet

The final race of the AWORRC (Arenztopian Winter Off-Road Racing Championships) happened on Tuesday. It features huge trucks competing in a grueling 24-hour race over wintry terrain. It was won by the XRA 6x6 Mk. 3, which is an insane 6-wheeled behemoth. The XRA 6x6 Mk. 3's suspension is professionally tuned and hoisted an amazing 4 feet above the ground. The Mk. 3 has an areodynamic shape and is made out of carbon fiber, and it is sponsored by the Five Star Line.

Weather

By Mezoir Logan

Temperatures will drop to -10 degrees Celsius next week, with warmer spots on Thursday and Friday at -2 degrees. Snow and ice are predicted, and travel is very strongly discouraged. Some flights may be delayed bacuse of slippery conditions on the runway.

Coronavirus Report

By Owen Miyazoi

Cases are at 219, and deaths are at a record low of 4. Another record of 3,500 people have gotten Avac, and another 2,000 have gotten Pfizer, for a new fully vaccinated total of 14,575 people.

Feature: Kankalon Ongarimnieo

By Tony Yuan

Today we interviewed Kankalon Ongarimnieo, the founder of the popular eatery Two Knives Arenztopia.

Olb City Announcer: So what are some of your signature dishes?

Kankalon Ongarimnieo: We serve more progressive, inventive, and interesting dishes, such as calamari sushi with freshly harvested banana hash.

OCA: What tools do you use to make your food?

KO: We use a variety of special tools to make our dishes as authentic as possible. We use brick ovens, tandoori ovens, conventional ovens, stoves, open-air pit fires, fryers, and blowtorches. For example, when we make chocolate, we first put the cocoa beans into a tango drum, then we roast the drum, then we take the beans out of the drum and blow the husks away with a reverse vacuum cleaner. After that, we drop anvils onto the beans to crush them, and voila! You have cocoa beans.

OCA: That sounds very interesting! Where do you source your ingredients from?

KO: We use all-natural ingredients, with only minimally farmed things. We source all of our ingredients from in or around the immediate vicinity of Arenztopia.

OCA: Well, that's all for today, and thanks for coming! You food sounds delicious!

KO: Thank you for inviting me! It was a joy to talk to you!

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Semi Truck Crashes into Office Building Update

By Sam-Louis Alrocaet

This is an update on the events of the cover story in Issue 28.

As of Tuesday, the wreckage has been completely removed and the building has been partially stabilized, though collapse is still possible. Authorities say that the building will have to be demolished. Plans are in the works for a memorial to be built on the former site of the building.

Tiger Woods Involved in Car Crash

By Owen Miyazoi

Tiger Woods, the famous golfer, was involved in a 1-car rollover crash on Wednesday in Florida. Doctors say that he suffered major leg injuries and does not remember being in the car crash.

Poetry

By Lorenzo Avila, edited by Tony Yuan

Countdown

11 days
11 days until…
1 year of COVID.
Who knows, it could even last 2 years.

Obituary

By Owen Miyazoi

Famous former soccer player Anmion Fandkhar died at the age of 79 on Wednesday. He set many soccer records in Arenztopia, and donated most of his game earnings to charity. To show sympathy, call 680-220-9181.