Issue 2

The Olb City Announcer

Volume 1, Issue 2 March 8th-March 14th,2020

Famous Arenznaut Moves To Olb City

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

Space Boulevard-On Monday, famous Arenznaut Michael Jillerene formally moved to the ASA (Arenztopian Space Administration) location at Olb City. Mr. Jillerene is the first native Arenztopian to visit the ISS. In a nationally televised interveiw, Mr. Jillerene expressed great excitement. On Tuesday, a giant homecoming party was thrown down Space Boulevard to celebrate Mr. Jillerene moving in. When asked why he moved to Olb City, he says: ¨I like the old buildings, and Olb City is so beautiful!¨ Mr. Jillerene will be blasting off from Olb City´s pad 9B in a Soyuz rocket to the ISS next week. As of Friday, Mr. Jillerene is moved in, comfortable, and getting to know the other employees.

Arts

by Tony Yuan

Famous jeweler Vladmir Mons´czye has agreed to encrust a work of modern art in jewels, reinforcing his reputation as a strange, weird person.

Weather

by Mezoir Logan

Next week´s average temprature should be 35 degrees celsius and there should be serious storms and a tropical depression in some areas.

Sports

by Owen Miyazoi

On Saturday, the Canopian Cobras beat the Arenztopian Atmospheres 5-6. The Canopian Cobras are going to the finals to face the Ferocious Falcons.

Woodchuck Zone Found

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

On Thursday the Woodchuck Zone was found in the National Forest of Arenztopia. Two bodies were found, but police are still searching for the criminals. Notice: If you have info about the criminals, call the police.

New Skyscraper Planned

by Owen Miyazoi

In downtown Olb City, a realty firm announced a new 96-floor skyscraper. It will be the tallest skyscraper in West Arenztopia on it´s completion in September.

New Resturaunt is HOT!

by Tony Yuan

The new resturaunt Six Knives is very popular. Owner Casey Minekoe says that there have been over 150 customers and orders in the first week after opening.

Kanone Mukek FAMOUS

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

Kanone Mukek, discoverer of the once-rare, now-bestselling book Bottles of Blood, is now famous. He appeared on the TV show ¨Mr. Miller interveiws famous people¨.

This Just In!

by Tony Yuan

Hand sanitizer is now being accepted as currency in various stores. The owner of Whole Foods on 16th Street, Micae Lenode, says: ¨Since hand sanitizer is so rare now, we can trade it for products.¨

Coronavirus Report

49 cases and 3 deaths have been confirmed according to government sources. Alejandro Rosa-Rosa, the nation´s leading scientist, is working on a cure.

Poetry

by Tony Yuan

The Virus

everyone
scared
freaked out

terrorizing
Wuhan
is the
Coronavirus

Oh no!

UFO Spotted

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

On Tuesday, a mysterious UFO was spotted over 5th street. Witnesses describe a steel sphere with a peculiar thing on top and a band of glowing lights around the middle. Police came and inspected, but it was too late. 30 seconds of film were captured, but it is inconclusive that it was not a hoax.

Obituary

by Owen Miyazoi

85-year old man Benseny Mograde was killed in his home by a meteorite falling through the roof and into his open mouth. He choked in his sleep. Coincedentially, Mr. Mograde was a retired astronomer that dreamed of dying at the hands of a comet. To show sympathy call Ms. Mograde at 650-382-8827.

Total Crazieness!

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

On Thursday, Joe Millermante filed a lawsuit against Bob Millermante, his brother, for stealing his bag of chips. Bob sued Joe, and now there is a whole legal issue over a missing bag of chips.

Sports 2

by Tony Yuan

The Chanlanian Chamaleons blazed through the Baseball World Cup of Arenztopia, beating the Olb Octopuses(boo) and dominating the Shreetian Seekers. Now, they are advancing to face the Hasianian Hornets.

Coronavirus Report UPDATED

by Owen Miyazoi

According to government sources, 56 cases and 7 deaths have been recorded, but as many as 562 cases and 183 deaths have been reported.

Chris Owens

by Owen Miyazoi

Chris Owens, the wild, crazy man that shocked the nation when he drunk drove and then broke out of one of the best prisons in Arenztopia, was found drunk, staggering around in the middle of the Woodchuck Zone! It seems that he was one of the conspirators. Details are classified by the government. Notice: Arenztopia police are working to get the truth out of Chris Owens. If you know a humane and effective method of interrogation, contact the police immediatly.

Editorial

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

This week is a bizzare week with the unreasonable legal issue and a death by meteorite, but it is offset by the alarm of the Coronavirus cases in Arenztopia rising rapidly.

How To Build A 96-Story Skyscraper

by Tony Yuan

On Wednesday, we saw that realty firm McMilleryége & Sons has announced a 96 story skyscraper. A spokesperson for the company says:¨We will reserve 3rd Street for the purpose of transporting glass panels, and we will also reserve Avila Lane for parking and utilities.¨ Workers are currently using backhoes to dig the foundation.

New Train Line Unveiled

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

On Wednesday, ARS (Arenztopian Railroad Services) announced a new train line called the Superschnell GT. Superschnell means Super fast in German, and the Superschnell GT line will run between Olb City and Arenztopia City making stops at Sitin and Shreet. It will use the ARS´s existing trains including the original hzor gnats´k´ trains on loan from Armenia.

Question of the Week

What does hzor gnats´k´ mean? text answers to OlbCityAnnouncer/question

Earthworm Mine

by Tony Yuan

Resident Stanley Perdernog reported to the police on Friday when he found miners digging a very large hole just outside of his ranch. When asked what they were doing, the miners looked at him like ¨Is it really not obvious?¨ and one of them said, ¨Digging for earthworms, of course!¨ At trial, these miners were deemed ¨cynical, delirious people¨ and they are currently residing in a psycological correction facility.

Obituary 2

by Owen Miyazoi

At a safari park, 24-year old man Palnoke Kisone thought it was a real safari hunting trip and shot 20 year old rhino Mwaka. Mwaka died from the shot and was buried at the city cemetery with full honors. Mr. Kisone is in a psycological correction facility. This unfortunate event has also sparked a scandal about the safari park´s security. The CEO of the safari park declined to comment.