Issue 15

The Olb City Announcer

Volume 2, Issue 5
November 15-November 21, 2020


by Tony Yuan

South Olb City Electricity Center-On Tuesday, a blackout happened that affected half a million people in South Olb City. The blackout was caused by several wires failing at South Olb City Electricity Center. Many people reported a sudden extinguishing of their lights at about 10:00 in the morning. The ISS also captured a measurement of about a third of the electricity of Olb City shutting off. Some people in Central Olb City also reported a slight dimming of their lights. By 2:00 in the afternoon, the electricity was up and running again. The Arenztopian Officer of Utilities, John Kerbae, issued a statement on Wednesday that outlined the cause of the blackout, the number of people affected, and that “We will be executing a comprehensive review of all of our power stations.”


by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

As temperatures rapidly drop, the Arenztopian winter sports season has started up. The New Paris Pucks faced off against the Austerfield Aardvarks in the first match of the hockey season, and the Pucks won 7-4.


by Owen Miyazoi

At the famous Therzin Sculpture Park, a new sculpture was unveiled. Titled “Composition 12,” it is by a sculptor known only by N12 who has made many other sculptures in the past. Composition 12 consists of a 50-foot jumble of curved metal that is covered in graffiti.


by Mezoir Logan

Temperatures keep dropping drastically with a very low freeze of -8 degrees on Monday and Tuesday, but temperatures will be back to around 4 degrees celsius on Thursday. Temperatures may drop again on Friday with a projected temperature of 0 degrees.

The Political Politician: the weekly politics column

by Tony Yuan

According to polls by Olb University, many people in Olb City favor Tony Yuan for Vice President and Ellidy J. for Mayor, so current trends remain the same. In overall polls of Arenztopia in general, Kassie K., the Vice President incumbent, gained 10 percentage points, making an overall approval rating of 35%. Tony still has 45%, and Ellidy has the remaining 20% of the poll.

Coronavirus Report

by Owen Miyazoi

Cases are still declining, with a massive decline to 745 cases. Deaths are still steadily declining, with 38 deaths.

Feature: Doren Fu

by Tony Yuan

We interviewed Doren Fu, the founder and leader of the new, trending religion of Scientism.

Olb City Announcer: Could you briefly explain what Scientism is?

Doren Fu: Scientism is a satirical religion that believes in six core principles: First, everything anybody says has to be true. Second, the Earth is a two-dimensional octagon with the continents and oceans on its backside. Third, the Earth is trapped beneath a very large dome with holes poked in it. Fourth, the Sun is actually just a big basketball. Fifth, every fiction story is nonfiction and every nonfiction story is fiction. Finally, outside of the dome which the Earth is trapped under lies the Great and Heavenly Leader, the Great God Bous, who is all-seeing and all-knowing.

OCA: How did you come up with Scientism?

DF: So one day I was sitting in my house and this was back in April, and I was bored out of my mind, and I was reading this news story about a couple of guys who had started this religion which had over 100,000 people in two months. So I was like, “This is a great idea!” and I went and drafted some ridiculous and arbitrary ideas for a religion. Then, I published it to the world!

OCA: What is Scientism satirizing?

DF: Huh, that's a hard one. I suppose Scientism is satirizing un-scientific beliefs about our world, things like gods and flat earthers. And I think Scientism is also satirizing the fact that people love religion, that people will join a religion having no true idea of what they're getting into.

OCA: Thank you! That's all for today. Thanks for coming!

DF: Thank you, and I hope to see you soon!

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

New fish species found

by Sam-Louis Alrocaet

A new species of fish was found in Lake Oglethorpe on Wednesday. The fish, which was named the Lake Oglethorpe Milkfish, is scientifically named Chanos Oglethorpi. It appears to be endemic to Lake Oglethorpe and is confirmed to edible when grilled. It has silvery scales and tender meat, and is about 6 inches in length.

Church bell replaced

By Owen Miyazoi

A seven-month long operation culminated on Tuesday when the bell of the Drapper Ministry Church was replaced. The historic church, built in the 1940s, is known for its bell, which was cast in 1590. However, the 430-year old bell suffered irreparable damage during a fire at the church last year and was replaced by a replica. The old bell will be transported to the Olb City History Museum.


by Tony Yuan

Has been customized
“2020 edition!”
“Limited time!”
To Social Distancing.


by Owen Miyazoi

Legendary army general Dan Sawger died on Thursday at 103 of old age. He was decorated with two purple hearts during his service during World War 2. He had also fought in the Vietnam War and was decorated with over 120 badges, medals, and honors over the course of his life. To show sympathy, leave a rememberance at his memorial board, which can be accessed at